Sometimes, when I feel nostalgic, I try to crack out the TV shows that remind me of the joy I felt as a kid. While not a horrible broken man, I do occasionally look for familiar jokes and childhood memories. However, if you ever want to horribly damage your memories, you rewatch those shows. I know, some hold up and I will go over them more soon, however, some have definitely declined. Perhaps YooHoo is like weed to elementary schoolers, but now that I am off the stuff, I have woken up to the garbage. Now there are other shows that are terrible, for example James Bond Jr.. However, this list includes shows I actually watched.
1. Garfield and Friends (1988-1994) – When I first got Netflix, I thought I would dig up some of these old shows. I had a string of luck until that came crashing down with Garfield and Friends. First of all, you Pearls Before Swine fans and Comics Curmudgeon readers will know the tragedy of Garfield as a stale comic. However, in the 1980s and 1990s it was hot S**t. However, looking back, it was awful. The show is based around two halves, Garfield and U.S. Acres. The Garfield half was the same style 1950′s one-liner jokes as the strip plus the same dead-horse beaters as the strip. Did you know that Garfield hates Monday? Meanwhile, the U.S. Acres bit is based around a comic that had failed. The odd Animal Farm parody only lasted a year and a half and frankly often involved terrible hackneyed musical numbers. All in all, it was a show that at the time was clearly stale before it started, which is why it worked with four year olds, such as myself when it started.
2. Life with Louie (1994-1998)
What is it Stan?
Who do we have for the new fall Saturday Morning Cartoon schedule?
Not much Stan.
I know, Charles.
Hey, What about an inappropriate overweight comedian whose entire routine is about hating his childhood?
Brilliant! Should we change his voice at all? Like Howie Mandel in Bobby’s World (1990-1998)?
Nope, he should keep it creepy and depressing!
3. Sonic the Hedgehog (1991-1994) and New Adventures of Super Mario Brothers 3 (1990) When you think 1990s and video games, you clearly think of high quality graphics, humorous plot points, and goofy situation comedy right? No? Well, too bad! Sonic vs Mario was one of the greatest rivalries of the age. However, this does not make for a good premise. First of all, the concepts were OK, let’s rip off a game. However, rather than making it an adventure show, a concept too radical for these executives, they just made the shows cartoon sitcoms; proving that the idea man behind this had never played the games, but merely over heard the titles while pulling a pedophile in a playground. If you watch the theme, you will notice the mess up Princess Peach’s hair color.
4. Where’s Waldo? (1991) This is one of the greatest cartooning ideas ever. Great puzzle books, fun toilet reading. Then someone must have said, “hey he can draw? Let’s make a show!” Granted from a TV perspective, it was good. They would literally freeze frame on a crowded scene to let you look for Waldo. Did the show have a premise? Kinda, the Wizard Whitebeard would give Waldo a mystery to solve, the solving of which was enveloped in two of these freeze frames. Just worthless, remember too the lack of high def. So your 25″ Standard Def, from the couch trying to find Waldo. Awesome.
5. Mighty Ducks (1996) – Now time for another episode of the Dudeletter’s Pitch Theatre.
Producer – “You there, peon! I need another TV show for my network! For stupid children!”
Naive Young Writer – “Well, there is this Disney Property we own that did well for your target demographic called the Mighty Ducks.” (barely audible fear whimper.)
Producer – “O?”
Naive Young Writer – “Yes, it is about a kids hockey team. It was a coming of age movie, with sportsmanship, friendship and sport action. It had one sequel and one in the works.”
Producer – “All I heard was Superheros.”
Naive Young Writer – “Excuse me?”
Producer – “Yea, the kid part is lame, let’s make it about Super Hero ducks.”
Naive Young Writer – “You mean, like real ducks? But we already have Darkwing Duck.”
Producer – “Good Hire those guys.”
Naive Young Writer – “No I mean, shouldn’t they be different things.”
Producer – “Sure, the fight with hockey sticks.”
Naive Young Writer – “Do they even play hockey?”
Producer – “Yes, and there coach will be Jim Belushi.”
I wish that any part above was untrue.