Top Five: Adult Cereals (Not the Porn Kind, but Close)

When you are a kid, the cereals you eat are based on two things, the toys inside and the cartoon that they advertise on. Well, that and whether or not your parents buy it. However, thanks to Jerry Seinfeld, cereal became for adults. Most where fairly boring, like a Special K, Korn Flakes, unsweetened Rice Crispies, Life, etc. However, there have been a few that really made an effort to make a flavorful cereal.

1. Cracklin’ Oat Bran – I know, if you have not tried this cereal you assume I have gone off the old man cart. Ooo, Bran! Sweet genius! Goes along with cod liver oil. However, Cracklin’ Oat Bran is my favorite cereal at the moment, by far. It is sweetened every so lightly, but it is spiced well; “brown sugar, flakes of coconut, a dusting of ground cinnamon, a splash of vanilla, and sprinkling of nutmeg,” as the Kellogg’s site says. Try it, it isn’t always cheap, but worth it.

2. Frosted Flakes – I know that you are thinking that this is a kids cereal, however, this is a misnomer. This is the Kellogg’s for adults, but they advertise to children to make them share the meal with parents. Think of all the ads, they always end with the kid and father together eating. They have less than 1/3rd of the sugar that they used to have, but still addictive.

3. Frosted Mini Wheats – This is another cereal advertised to parents, this time moms. Think of the ads, the adorable dancing mini wheat begging for the kid to eat it; which was creepy. However, the ad is aimed at adults and kids to beg their parents. The cereal is less sweetened than before and just as bad at staying crunchy in milk, but damn is it still good.

4. Honey Nut Cheerios – This is one of the few cereals that I will buy two boxes of in a row. It has remained the same for years and made the the cereal better. It is also the first cereal I made a beer based on/made of. The cereal and the beer have a subtle sweetness and an almond crispness. The cereal is great and, apparently, good for my pudgy white guy heart.

5. Honey Bunches of Oats – When I was a kid, this was all my father ate. My dad is a gourmand, he has his delicacies; however, when he found something he liked, he will eat it for months. I remember thinking that this cereal was like an adult food. Like when I ate it, when me and my brothers were out of our own cereals, I remember feeling mature. My brother Jon would pick the bunches out of the milk and eat them last. The cereal is still interesting and one of the more complex cereals. Is it still mature? No, but still great.

Enjoy,
Editor

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